About Me

photo (4)I’m 29 and I’m single. Like really single. For the first time since I can remember. (Except while in highschool…..I was awkward and weird looking. I don’t count that period in my life, and only refer to it as “No”.)

For the last 10 years I have been in a number of relationships, but never really single. Was dumped once when I was 21 by a volleyball player, was devastated for a week, and then found myself in another relationship the week after. I’ve jumped from one relationship to the next, ending one and immediately moving into the next, keeping my back-up boyfriends in the wings for when the relationship I was in would start to go to shit.

A few months ago I was having wine with one of my best friends of 8 years. We were laughing at the ridiculousness that is now my dating life and how I should write a blog around the hilarity of it. During that second bottle, after a couple shots of vodka, but before we staggered the country bar across the street, we discovered that, despite me being in a number of relationships, if you added up the days I had been single in the last 10 years, it added up to about 2.5 months.

So why did I start this project? 8 months ago I was living and working with a guy. He was the head chef of the restaurant I was serving at part time, and we were madly in love. Until we weren’t. He started fucking the teenage hostess, 10 years my junior, in our bed. My life was turned to shit, I quit my job and moved back home to my parent’s house.

Plus side? I didn’t eat for 2 months and lost 15 pounds. Thank you, Chef!

I’ve never been single and for the first time, I found myself very, very single. I was sad, jobless, drinking a lot of vodka, and cramming all my possessions into my parent’s 10×12 foot spare bedroom. I was panicked. I had never been alone. Despite my emotional state being comparable to Bambi on ice, I was desperate for some male attention. To fill that void, I decided to try online dating for the first time ever. Filling out my profile was easy:

Job: N/A

Interests: Vodka. 

Living Situations: Squatting in my parent’s spare bedroom because the storage unit where I’m storing all my furniture won’t let me move in.  

Car: Rusty shit-box that rattles. 

And it continued much like that. I look really good on paper. A bachelor’s dream girl, really.

I’m 29 and I’m dating for the first time. I’ve discovered that there are a lot of people just as fucked up as I am in this world and that I have no idea what I am doing and it makes for some pretty awkward stories. That’s why we are here.photo (5)

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