Dating 6 Guys in 6 Days: Part 1

So as you know, I have been on Tinder for about 2 weeks. It’s my new hobby.  Wow. Tinder is filled with many walks of life. I feel like I’m in a bit of culture shock.

Here are some examples, I’ve blocked off their faces with other faces, so I don’t get in trouble.

Definitely your sister. Lol.

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No Words. 

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In the About section is says “Tall glass of fun” Really? Because you look about as fun as a root canal, after which you will murder my family. 

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I actually wanted to talk to this guy because his name was Tinder, and I thought it would eliminate a lot of the confusion I’ve been having.

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Then there are people like this couple….

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Despite this, I’ve been talking to a number of seemingly nice boys and have lined up 6 first dates with 6 different men over the next 6 days, because why not?

My only serious relationships have been with boys from B-Town, about 45 minutes from where I live. I’ve got strict instructions from my friends and family that I am no longer allowed to date boys from B-Town, as it never works out. I’ve always dated boys from B-Town because that is where my second job, as a waitress is. (My main job is in marketing) It’s a social job and it’s easy to meet people.  The only downfall is I’m a country girl, and B-Town is a richer city, so the boys tend to be more high maintenance city boys.

Date # 1:

So my first date of the 6 was two nights ago with a boy named Tyson. And he’s from B-Town. Dammit! I can’t stay away! This was my first Tinder date ever and I weirdly didn’t give a shit. There is something about never having met this person that didn’t make it feel real. Usually, first dates are nerve racking for me because I’ve met that person, spoken to them and know I am attracted to them.

Tyson and I have been talking none stop for about a week now, and I think I like him.  His personality seems cool over text message, and judging by the few pictures he has on Tinder, he’s super attractive too.

So we decided to meet at Milestones, I got there first and I was all of a sudden very nervous. What if he’s hideous? What if he’s gorgeous? What if I can’t think of anything to say and we sit in awkward silence staring at each other? What if I get so nervous I end up throwing up on myself?

I quickly downed a beer before he got there to calm my nerves.

He showed up, we hugged, he was pleasantly attractive and smelled nice. Judging by the way he was looking at me, I think he thought the same.

We split a couple appetizers and I order a salad as my main.  I’ve heard that guys really judge you on what you order this early in the game, and I have kind of sold him on the idea that I’m super healthy (meanwhile, I really haven’t eaten anything in the last few months  except vodka and I haven’t been to the gym in months). He got the salmon and I immediately regretted pretending to be a rabbit and not getting the steak.

He seems really nice, he said he has been on a number of Tinder dates but nothing has really panned out for him. He asks about my last relationship and why we broke up. I started to give him the super Coles Note version, but I could tell that I was being way too cryptic and vague and confusing….so then I stopped, took a deep breath and just jumped right in and told him the whole damn story.

Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I was on my second beer and I just couldn’t stop talking!

“I was living with a guy, we worked together, he cheated on me with a teenager that we also worked with and who was a friend of mine. It went on for months behind my back and she would come over and hang out with us and pretend to be my friend, super fucked up. There were rumours going around about it, but I didn’t believe them because I didn’t think 2 people in my life could be capable of something so evil, so actually cut out everyone at work except him and her. Then he went on a snowboarding trip with his buddies, and she called in sick the same days he was gone, with all the rumours swirling around and all the inconsistencies, it was very obvious they were together, not even trying to hide it anymore so I left him and moved home with my parents.” *Chug rest of beer*

I think I said all of that in 4.5 seconds. Longest run-on sentence of my life. Complete word vomit. He just stared at me. I stared back. I may not have literally thrown up on myself, but I just verbally threw up everywhere.

Please say something. Oh god, why did you go on like that? Just say you broke up and moved out! Not something someone wants to hear on the first date. Why is my beer empty? I wish I had another beer. Where is our damn waitress???

Tyson cleared his throat, took a big swig of his beer and told me my life was kind of like a soap opera and that he was sorry that that had happened to me.

The rest of the date was pleasant. I ordered a third beer and had a good buzz on. We hugged and went our separate ways.

I was not expecting to hear from him, but he actually text me the next day and asked me out on a second date next week.

Date #2:

Last night was my first date with Ian. One of the two Ian’s I was talking to and got mixed up a lot. Last night’s Ian was the one I decided to continue talking to. As soon as I walked in I immediately regretted that decision.

He told me he was 5’10 and he looked fit and tan in his pictures. I concluded that his profile pictures were from a vacation from several years ago, and taken at a good angle. He was 5’6 at best and very wiry and skinny. I am by no means a large person, I’m 5’4, grew up on a farm and have played sports my whole life, so I’m thin, but athletic. I could crush this guy.

I took one look at him and immediately felt lied to. He was not how he presented himself online at all. I was wearing 2.5 inch heels and was taller than him. When I hugged him, I felt like I would break him.

We ordered a drink and made small talk. He asked me about my experience with Tinder, I told him I had only been on one date (did NOT tell him that it was night before) and that most experiences had been positive so far….until this one. I told him straight up that I felt he misrepresented himself online, that my ex was 5’10 and he definitely wasn’t that tall, and that it was clear his pictures were at least a couple years old. I told him that if he had been honest about his height, I probably would have still gone on a date with him, because I’m still shorter, and have dated guys the same height as me, but since he lied about something so insignificant it didn’t start us off in a good place and I had lost interest. I finished my drink quickly, put some money on the table to cover the cost of it and thanked him for making the drive.  He was enough of a gentleman to walk me to my car and I give him props for doing that. If it was me, I would have been mortified and ran away. We hugged and I wished him luck in his search.

Hopefully this will be a lesson for him. Be honest boys. Integrity is everything and if you lie about your height, weight or appearance, she’s going to know as soon as she sees you! Don’t be so dumb.

Hoping the next 4 dates are more positive than that one!


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